This past week has been one of my most mentally- and emotionally-draining times in what feels like years. I'm SO STRESSED! My room has been completely overrun with homework and empty Red Bull cans. My backpack is bursting at the seams. Baristas at the Starbucks on 11th know me by name and order -- and can almost sense when I need a double shot of espresso in the morning. If I had a dollar for every "Rough night?" I heard last week, I could probably pay scientists to make a clone of me to feel these icky feelings so I don't have to.
With everything happening at once, it's been hard to keep up with normal routines like going to the gym, eating regularly and staying hydrated. Part of it came from how busy I am with school, Bear News reports and my waitressing job. Another part of it came from my lack of motivation from how overwhelmed I've become. I've officially taken a bigger bite out of life than I can chew -- and it has only made me feel MORE anxious about my future.
But this is all a part of becoming an adult, right? Everyone goes through this. . .right? You realize that you have more responsibilities and less free time, less friends and WAAAAY less energy. Most of all, though, you realize that you have to learn to work things out on your own. People aren't going to be around to hold your hand all the time. Adulthood is realizing that you're where you've wanted to be your entire childhood, living on your own and doing what you want -- but every other event, responsibility and struggle beyond this perceived adult freedom is random, unexpected and so very confusing.
Thursday night, I visited with my friend, Riley, for a bit to do homework and talk about life in general. We've known each other since freshman year of college, and he's been a good friend to hang out with when I need a break from responsibilities. While chatting, he was playing music that I wasn't really even listening to. Then, Riley and I started getting into a deeper discussion about music we liked, and he brought up his latest obsession with the Red Hot Chili Peppers. He showed me his playlist dedicated to the classic band and played a couple songs -- some that I knew by heart, and others I had to add to my various playlists (check 'em out in Playlist Yard). The conversation we had really moved me, and it seemed to almost take me away from the stress and anxiety that I was feeling mere minutes ago. Talking about old music and the memories behind songs made me nearly forget that I was in Colorado for college at all.
For this week's Song of the Week, my talk with Riley really influenced my strong urge to go back in time. Scar Tissue by the Red Hot Chili Peppers was the first that came to mind. It reminds me of home -- muggy summer nights, fields of fireflies and movie nights with my parents. A time when things were simpler, and I was just blissfully ignorant and happy.
My dad is the RHCP fan of the family. Whenever he was the driver, the band was inevitable. He always used to say (and still does), "Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts their cake hole." RHCP was one of the first bands that I vividly remember listening to when I first got into music. Scar Tissue stands out to me because of my parents, and it reminds me of all the little things we did that I took for granted as a child.
I picked this song because listening to it at the end of this stressful week really got me to thinking. Sure, I miss my childhood, and I know for a fact I took the simplicity of it for granted. We all grow up eventually, and it takes a lot more courage and strength than we realize. It's not like the movies -- and frankly I don't know if it ever will be like the movies. The song talks about, well, scar tissue from the past. Sometimes, you really feel like a stranger to not just the people around you but to yourself, too.
Moral of the story is: don't lose yourself in today. Everyone changes, and that's how life has been for forever. Take your growth and use it to your advantage -- but don't forget where you came from and what raised you to be who you are. Whether it's family, friends or even music, these factors molded you into who you are today with morals, experiences and values. Please, for the love of God, don't forget the things that made you YOU -- and don't deny that individuality for anyone or anything. Everything in your adult life happens once, so make it personal.